I haven't blogged in a while.
For all two of you who occasionally glance at this blog, I would like to point out the fact that I have deleted almost every post. The only posts that remain do so for my own benefit, honestly-- they're my favorite recipes! And this blog is the only place where I presently have record of them. So they stay. But I have found the others to be slightly vain and silly.
A little silly.
Not to be offensive, but only to be observant, I have noticed a pattern among many women.
Get married. Create a blog. Blog. ---recipes, organic gardening, couponing, you name it.
Have a baby. Blog even more. ---post many, many pictures. Crying babies and complications not permitted.
I was reading through some of my favorite blogs a few days ago and thought to myself, "My life doesn't look like this." The harmless though soon evolved into "Why doesn't my life look like this?!" What's wrong with me? She never screams at her husband. Where in the world am I going to find the time to soak my own grains? Her life is apparently perfect. I must find somebody who can teach me how to sew and fast!
A little over-exaggerated. But seriously. I was so discouraged.
Is my discouragement to be of the liability and fault of these other women? Absolutely not.
Also-- people often have "family" blogs by which their distant family keep up with their lives. I get that.
But I have asked myself-- In what way can I best encourage and preach the Gospel of Jesus to my sisters (and often times, brothers) in Christ? I believe that the gospel of Susie Homemaker is far different than the Gospel that my Jesus has to offer.
I have also struggled with the vanity that encompasses the blogging and twitter world.
Frankly, I don't care where you ate lunch or what time you go to the gym every day. Sorry.
I found this quote on a blog post by Justin Taylor on the Gospel Coalition blog:
“The Internet world we live in today is awash in narcissism and vanity, with some people taking their clothes off literally, because exposure gives them a rush, and others doing it spiritually—because the addicting power of talking about yourself, where anyone in the world can read it, is overpowering.”
Pride. Vanity. It is overpowering.
Here is the thought that I have wrestled with over and over--
Who am I to think that I have anything to write that is actually worth reading?
I do not want to add to the narcissistic ideology that we as individuals are so interesting and fantastic that everybody wants to read about it. Again, I do not mean to be offensive, but only observant.
Fletcher and I attended the Band of Bloggers meeting at the Gospel Coalition Conference.
I gained a lot of insight from men who have struggled with the same convictions.
My conclusions (gleaned from others)--
1.) The idea of blogging is not new.
*Note: The idea of informing everyone of your change of shoes, this morning's breakfast, and your current location is new. And stupid.
But people have written books and newspaper articles for a very long time.
2.) It should be a conversation.
I want all two of you to interact with me. When you disagree, tell me! Let's talk about it.
I feel that this is the best way to keep a small head on my shoulders-- it not really my blog. It is an instrument through which I can encourage others. It is a place where we can talk about it together. It is a conversation.
3.) I do not have it all figured out.
The day I write the contrary on this blog is the day I will, by the Grace of God, shut it down.
To echo the second point, it is a conversation!
I am not a theologian. I am only a woman desiring to love the Lord with all of my heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37) and to spur others on to do the same.