Thursday, July 15, 2010

We're Engaged!

Saturday, July 10. Fletcher asked me to marry him.
On a rooftop in downtown Louisville.
I said yes.
There were balloons that flew into the skyline.
And about 40 of our friends waiting downstairs.
I was surprised, and a little overwhelmed.
It was beautiful.

After a week of being engaged, I have learned several good lessons.

1. The world does not revolve around me. Even though I am getting married.
This must happen to every women, right? Every little girl has her dream wedding. Whether she knows it or not. She has expectations.

When this little girl finally had a ring on her finger, she discovered that the world did not stop in light of it.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn.
The 930 Arts Center was booked. I cried. I refused to look anywhere else.
When I finally began looking at other venues, I learned that other couples are getting married too.
I'm engaged! But life goes on. That is something profound.

2. I am selfish.
Have I not already learned this? I am forced to examine my own heart-- I want what I want, when I want it. I could talk a lot about this. Wedding planning. Kissing my fiance. The 930 Arts Center. Registry. Dress. Blah, Blah, Blah. It's disgusting.

3. It isn't so much about the wedding as it is about the marriage.
I was struck by this when Fletcher attempted to slow me down amidst my wedding buzz. "Are you going to love me well...?" When I am running around in circles, stretching myself thin between work and wedding planning, am I really able to love my fiance (my future husband) well? Am I creating good habits for my marriage? NO. This is when I really need to stop. I need to remember what this is all about. NOT the wedding. Here, I begin a new life with the man I love, the man the Lord has blessed me with to love and care for. Am I loving him well? Am I caring for him well? Am I putting our wedding before him?

I am again reminded that I can not do life on my own. I can not control everything. I can not make everything go my way. I need Jesus. I need him to sustain me. I need him to save me from myself. I need him to fill me with his love so that I can love others well.